Work schmirk...

Hello, Boss?

Yeah, it's me.

Listen, I can't come into work today.

What's that? No, I'm not sick. I've been abducted by aliens.

No, I'm not joking.

I haven't actually gone off with them yet, that's why I'm calling.

See, I actually contacted them a few days ago to tell them I was ready to get out of here for a while, and now they've arrived and want to take me with them for a joyride around Earth's orbit and then maybe for a quick lightspeed jump to have some espresso and cake on their planet. I've really wanted to meet them for a long time-- what's that?

Vacation time? Are you serious?

You guys would actually pay me while I'm hanging out with aliens having cake and espresso and flying around the galaxy?

I knew there was a reason I liked working here...